The topic of boundaries has been a long-standing controversy, particularly in the context of mental health and wellness. However, many people often get confused about what the term ‘boundaries’ really means.

Boundaries are simply the limits you set in different parts of your life. They act as barriers you create in areas such as your emotional, physical, intellectual, and even sexual life. Boundaries are unique to each individual, as they depend on what someone can tolerate, particularly in their relationships with others. You don’t only establish boundaries to protect others from you; you also safeguard yourself from others when you set boundaries.

Boundaries are like guidelines that inform people about what you are comfortable with and what is not okay with you. Having healthy boundaries requires an understanding of your preferences, desires, limits, and deal-breakers, as well as the ability to communicate them when necessary.

Boundaries exist on a fine line between being loose and rigid. When your boundaries are loose, they resemble lines of sand that can shift at any moment, especially when people cross them. When they are rigid, they are like brick walls that cannot be moved.

You should aim to make your boundaries as firm as possible. Boundaries reflect how you treat yourself and indicate what you accept into your life. They are all about the life you want to lead, and your boundaries show that. If you are uncomfortable with something, you have the right to voice it, and if it is not respected, you are entitled to walk away.

The beauty of boundaries is that they are all about you, not the other person. They concern what you want in your life, regardless of what is happening around you or what others may say. As long as you remain respectful of their feelings, your boundaries are meant to be honoured. If they are not, that is a sign that the person may not be suitable for you.

Boundaries communicate how stable we are in every aspect of our lives. Healthy boundaries are firm yet adaptable to both the people around you and yourself. Having a “not ok” list is perfectly acceptable when it comes to your boundaries. You will undoubtedly have things you cannot tolerate, but remember to craft boundaries that are a reflection of who you are and who you want to become.